I've never met a woman who did not have insecurities about her body. During our pre-session discovery conversations, I am frequently surprised at the specific features women identify as being areas they carry insecurities. The areas they bring up are often ones that I would not consider to be ugly or unattractive in any way. Which is telling. Some of the most common insecurities are: hips, arms, noses, chins, necks, ears, and hair. Beyond the specific body parts, my clients almost always communicate a preference to look either more full and curvaceous, or longer and leaner, and altogether thinner in her photographs. There always seems to be a desire to move in one direction or the other.
So, the question is, from where does this problem derive? How did we, as a society develop the notion, that a change in shape or size will fix our problems? Why are our standards of beauty dictated by a select few? Celebrities, models, actresses, who have undergone treatments and surgeries that not only modify their bodies, but also their facial structure, skin, and hair? Why does a culture of strong, independent, liberated women, tolerate such dysfunctional physical standards? Why has this gone on for so long? Many of these questions intrigued me as a young student, when I was studying in college. My curiosity in these matters, greatly contributed to my decision to be a women's studies minor, while earning my bachelor of arts degree in psychology.
Many of these questions continue to go unanswered. I have not seen any major change in society's universal communication, that women are by virtue of being thinner or curvaceous in the right areas, therefore deserving of higher amounts of love, financial success, and overall acceptance. Even the most successful women in our society, must also meet physical standards of beauty. Even the best writers, mothers, astro-physicists, or doctors are lacking in some way if they are not also conventionally beautiful. This rule does not however seem to apply to men. We are raised on the notion that having a right angled chin, big eyes, big lips, long legs, and big hair determine our worth as women.
When I am behind the lens at a boudoir or motherhood session, I am not scanning the women I photograph for flaws, or examining their bodies. I am very uninterested in her hips, or her breasts, or how long her legs are. It doesn’t matter how she appears or how or what celebrity she looks like. If I want to capture the essence of the woman in front of me, I have to look for more. I’m working to invoke her spirit, because her spirit dictates the essence of her beauty. It's like this: a light can either be illuminating or it can leave a room dark. It doesn't matter how beautiful the room is, if there's nothing to illuminate the fine decor, architectural design or amazing layout, nothing is appreciated. Without the light, the room will seem dull, dark, and empty. The same is true with us, if we are strong of character and free in spirit, if we are adventurous, kind, and fully alive, when we have overcome adversity, and grown in our wisdom, all of these pieces of us, contribute to a light, and this light illuminates our frames, and all of the details therein.
“Allow yourself to be authentically you, and that will singularly enhance everything else in your session…”
Many times my clients want to diet or make commitments like working out daily before their shoots with me, and all of that is good and fine, if it will lead to empowerment and comfort, come session day. I do want my clients to feel like their best selves. But, the most important bit of advice I can offer to anyone preparing for a session is this: Spend time with yourself. Practice self-affirmations. Practice self-acceptance, and get in touch with who you are. Allow yourself to be authentically you, and that will singularly enhance everything else in your session, and consequently your final photographs. A wise friend once told me, “the most important part of personal growth and development is this… ‘know thyself’.” This phrase has echoed in my heart and has even made it to the walls of my bedroom. “Know Thyself”. We cannot extend love to others without first loving ourselves and we cannot love ourselves without knowledge of who we are.
“…it is always my sincere hope, that the women I work with, come away with a deeper sense of who they have been, who they are today, and who they will become.”
Self-acceptance is a journey with many turns and bends. From our first conversations, to the final albums, museum cases, or wall galleries we collaboratively curate, my process is designed to promote healing, empowerment, and a deep self-intimacy. Beyond creating beautiful photographs of every woman I photograph. It is always my sincere hope, that the women I work with come away with a deeper sense of who they have been, who they are today, and who they will become.